


Five times Arthur didn't love Merlin, and the 1 time he did.

by Arianne_Isobel



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 16:09:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3494624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arianne_Isobel/pseuds/Arianne_Isobel





	Five times Arthur didn't love Merlin, and the 1 time he did.

1.  
If there was one thing Camelot was good for, it was feasts. And what was better, the wine. Uther had never been strict with Arthur when it came to drinking, he laughed when a 5 year old Arthur took his first sip and promptly spat it back out.

Of course, Arthur quickly grew a tolerance, so here he was now, eighth cup down, watching the servants hurry around serving more food and drink. Merlin, his new idiot Manservant his father had appointed to him had already spilled wine on his shirt 3 times, it was a good job he was wearing red, and not white. 

But there was something strange about Merlin, he was useless, and idiotic, and had a tendency for making up what he thought was meant to be insulting, but he was brave, and loyal. Arthur watched as Merlin made his way around the tables, laughing with other servants and filling goblets with too much concentration.

He was much too tall, his limbs too long for simple coordination, but he was sharp, and curiously captivating. If he looked into his eyes for too long, Arthur swore he could get lost. There was an allure to him that couldn’t be denied.

It was much later in the evening, in the dim candle light of his chambers that he could really appreciate Merlin. The soft light casting shadows on the sharp edges of his face as he kissed his way down Arthurs chest. 

He watched in fascination and lust as Merlin took his cock in his mouth and flicked his tongue over the tip. He buried his hands in Merlin’s inky black hair. He never took his eyes off him once. He told himself he wasn’t in love, it was just lust.

When Arthur was through, he slid down the wall and took Merlin into his arms, holding him close. He kissed his mouth, his neck, let his fingers explore his body, let his senses take over and bask in what was simply Merlin. 

 

2.

Merlin wiped his eyes gracelessly as he stared into the fire.

“Merlin – ” Arthur tried, but Merlin cut him off with a sharp “I’m fine”

Arthur sighed, as he threw another log into the fire. All hope for Camelot seemed doomed now that Balinor was dead. Merlin sniffled again, then tried to disguise it as a cough. Arthur didn’t mention it. He knew how he felt. Everyone left at home in peril with that beast destroying the castle he loved.

Watching Merlin sit there so broken and wretched, he vowed he’d kill the Dragon, and take back his home. 

And he did. But Merlin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes when he told him the news. He floated away from him, spending less and less time with him as he usually did, until, once again, they were in front of the fire, the roaring flames heating through his body with a welcome friendliness. He saw, for the first time in weeks, a contented smile on Merlin’s face as the knights tried to burn Sir Leon’s socks. 

“You alright?” Arthur bumped his elbow against Merlin’s arm gently. He watched his servant carefully, not missing the indecisive look flicker over his features. 

“Fine” He smiled lightly, blue eyes flicked down, not making eye contact. 

“You should be happy, the Dragon’s dead, Camelot is recovering well”

Merlin looked up then, his deep eyes filled with such sorrow. “I am happy” He contradicted. Arthur raised an eyebrow, and ran his knuckles across his cheek. 

He wasn’t in love, he was just comforting a friend. 

 

3.

Arthur vowed. He promised. He swore. By all the power he had in him, he took his vow to protect Camelot, as its king.

“Long live the King” The words of the councilmen, the knights and guards. The servants and towns people rang out strong through the hall. But Arthur’s eyes sought out Merlin.

Merlin stood there, eyes fixated on the crown the sat on Arthurs blond head. Finally, on the last chant, it was as if all the other voices drown away. He could only hear Merlin. Merlin, who sat outside his father tomb all night so Arthur wouldn’t be alone. Merlin who fought a Dragon with him, went on life threatening missions without giving it a second thought. Merlin who lay down for him every night. His Merlin.

“Long live the king”

 

4\. 

Lancelot had all the bravery and grace a good knight should. He was noble and a skilled fighter. There was no denying that he was a perfect knight. But Arthur resented him as he watched Merlin laugh and joke as they walked through the corridor. 

He hadn’t seen Merlin laugh or joke like that in a long time. The light in his eyes had dimmed and Merlin had scurried away. But now, there was a flame in his eyes that couldn’t be denied. Arthur wanted to kick and scream. Merlin was his, and no one else’s. But that was in private. He was king now, and kings would not be seen throwing tantrums over their serving boys. 

So, later on, in the privacy of his chambers, that Arthur kisses Merlin roughly, shoving him back onto the sturdy wooden desk.

“Mine” He hissed, biting hard on his lip.

“Yes” Merlin pleaded. “Yes Arthur, yours. Always”

He fucked him hard, possessively. Biting bruises on his neck and shoulders. Merlin dragged his nails down his back, leaving raw, tender trails.

“Mine” Arthur panted as he collapsed into Merlin’s neck. 

He finally got the strength to lift his head. Merlin’s head was tipped back slightly, eyes closed and his mouth open. His breath was still stuttering. His sharp cheekbones were more prominent in the soft moonlight glow. Making him look unreal, something alien and beautiful. 

He wasn’t in love, he just didn’t like sharing.

But Arthur got a ruthless, forbidding feeling deep in his stomach that nearly knocked him down.

 

5.

The battle was all but won. Camelot’s army was strong and agile. No army in the five kingdoms lived up their courage and loyalty. Their fierce determination to do what was right by their kingdom outlived their bloodlust. 

Arthur had begged Merlin not to come. He was a servant. A loyal, brave stupid servant. Not a warrior. But he came anyway. Armed with a sword, he was better than the boy that stumbled into Camelot all those years ago, but he was still not a fighter.

Yet he always came out unscathed. Time and time again, Merlin had gone into battle with him, and come out with no more than a couple of scratches, where stronger, well trained men had lost their lives.

Now, he fought off one of the few men left on the battle field, one of the few men hanging on for dear life. Arthur wondered if Merlin would actually kill him, or tell him to run at the last minute. He didn’t like Arthur killing rabbits, he couldn’t imagine him killing another man. 

Arthur finished off his own man with a swift cut through his chest. 

He hated the noise people made when they were dying. Miserable and pathetic, but it had to be done, kill or be killed. 

He looked over to Merlin just in time to see him deliver a fatal blow to a man who should have finished Merlin off a long time ago. Arthur smiled secretly to himself as he looked around the field. The red capes of Camelot littered proudly. There were few casualties on his own side. His opponents, however had come out drastically. Most of their men dead, surrendered or ran away. 

Then, there was an unmistakable sound. A crossbow. Not from his men. His men rarely used crossbows if they could help it, they preferred swords.

His eyes landed on Merlin once again, an arrow embedded in his shoulder. Arthur could only watch in horror as a stray enemy tackled him from behind.

“Merlin!” He yelled, screamed, but it was no use. The man was twice Merlin’s size, all meat and muscle. Merlin didn’t stand a chance. His large, weighty fists rained solid blows on Merlin’s scrawny frame, throwing him like a ragdoll.

Arthur ran. He ran with fierce determination and let out a distraught cry as he ran the other man through with his sword. 

He made a chocked sound as he kicked the larger man off Merlin, who lay beaten and bloody, blood pooling at an alarming rate from an arrow embedded in his shoulder.

“No!” Arthur cried as he gathered him up in his arms, sprinting towards the physician’s tent. 

Gaius paled as Arthur lay Merlin on an empty make shift bed. Merlin convulsed in pain and let out a gut wrenching cry. Arthur watched in revulsion as Gaius’s attempts to heal him failed pitifully.

This wasn’t love, it hurt too much.

 

6.

“Come on, my boy” Gaius pleaded as he poured a potion down his throat. “Swallow, please”

But Merlin convulsed and threw it up. Arthur covered his mouth, trying to hold back the sobs that were taking over. Blood bubbled over Merlin’s lips, as he grasped blindly to the sky. He was shrieking and howling in pain, his words a garbled mess as he thrashed around on the bed. Gwaine and Percivals attempts at restraining him were proving to be useless.

Arthur stumbled over to his bed side, grasping his hand too tightly and begging him to just calm down. 

“His lungs are punctured, I don’t know – ”

“Do something, he’s dying”

Blood spilled down his chin, onto his scarf. He gargled and shook and thrashed.

“Merlin stop” Arthur begged. “Merlin please! Come on, you can get through this”

He was choking on his own blood, the sound was horrific as Gaius tried to save him.

But Merlin finally stilled as his heart gave in. The light faded from his eyes and Arthur finally let out a heartbroken sob, burying his face in Merlin’s neck as he had so many times before. 

“I’m sorry, I should have protected you, I’m sorry. I love you”


End file.
